I have known Thadeaus for a little over a year now, and during that time we have become good friends. I wrote my impressions of him before I began working with A New World In Our Hearts, a network with which he is involved, and I would like to share those, as well as an update now that I have had a chance to become more familiar with him as well as his detractors.
While I have only known Thadeaus in the period of time after the allegations and accusations were made, I can sincerely say that he has been a good friend to me: welcoming, thoughtful, helpful, concerned, sympathetic, and fun. While I am not a member of the anarchist or activist scene in New York City, Thadeaus and I often see each other at the bi-monthly GRUB freegan community dinners that he co-organizes and helps run. During these times, I see a passionate individual doing what he can to make an impossibly large community closer together in ways that align with his values and principles. At these get-togethers, Thadeaus never seems power-hungry, attention grabbing, or predatory. He often hangs back in social situations in order to have more intimate personal conversations with close friends, even while he seeks out new faces at GRUB in an inviting manner that makes people want to come back. Of course, possibly because I am not a part of this scene, I have also been very impressed by the method of living Thadeaus undertakes. It takes perseverance and dedication to live in this city in this manner, and it often inspires me to be more passionate in my own life about what I think is important. It is difficult to imagine Thadeaus in any role but collected and deliberate, and it seems that any complaints stem from a grain of truth from youthful past-relationship bickering that is decidedly over.
As someone who has been in abusive relationships in the past (and no longer), I am quite sensitive to physical, emotional, and sexual slights. I have only seen Thadeaus be most respectful towards ALL people, including women, and including me. In various types of social situations, he is always thoughtful, respectful, and delightful.
In the past 8 months, empowered by those I have gotten to know within the occupy movement, I actually have joined into the activist and anarchist scene that I spoke of from the outside previously. Working on community projects and attending events, I have been able to get to know Thadeaus in a more serious setting.
As I review the various bits of gossip and serious issues people who have been close to him in the past bring up, I notice that a common thread throughout them all is his stubbornness. This stubbornness manifests itself in good ways, such as the "perseverance and dedication" that I mentioned above, yet has also caused much of the trouble with which our community now must deal. I have recently seen him taking responsibility for the way this affects others in a sincere attempt at healing the community, through a series of accountability meetings, personal discussions, therapy, and this website. With this website he is taking responsibility for correcting the false accusations made against him as well. Thadeaus has said that he is willing to discuss any and all matters in an open meeting facilitated by a true third party, which I hope to have agreed upon by all those involved.